We all have a desire for community. In Psalm 68, it says, God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell! So, it’s important to God that we are surrounded by support, and we don’t become isolated. However, one of the things I see happen frequently are people who struggle with a lack of affirmation so deeply that they sabotage their success relationally.
Understand that raising your leadership means you have to make a commitment to not sabotage yourself with others in the midst of spiritual warfare. Living a robust life means you will have to have strong boundaries and not come under the fear of man.
Here are 10 Ways to stop sabotaging your success:
- Be willing to let go of individuals in your life that talk a lot about what they are going to do but never execute. Instead, pray and ask God to help YOU become identity-wise someone who makes a goal and keeps it. Keep hanging around people who will ask you if you followed through on what you said you wanted to do and point out to you if you’re making excuses. This will ensure you begin to attract more significant people into your life.
- Guard your peace. This is probably one of the number one things that can make or break your success. The anointing and power of God rest on those who are committed to being peace-makers. This translates first and foremost into learning how to keep yourself in peace and guard others peace. Feel valuable enough to set boundaries around your heart, your time and keep people out of your personal space and teams who steal or disrupt it. In the early church, people were kicked out quickly if they were quarrelsome because the power of unity was so crucial to the Holy Spirit being present and the church multiplying!
- Be careful about sharing frustrating information that projects you as a complainer rather than a problem solver. Now, I want to be clear about this. When you are not feeling satisfied, be strategic about talking about where you are falling short. DO NOT talk about anything that causes you to feel pain with anyone who cannot solve it. That should eliminate 98% of the people around you. There is nothing that will sabotage your success than appearing victimized. You cannot be powerful and pitiful at the same time. This isn’t about hiding. It’s about thinking before you open your mouth. If you have to take time in prayer and ask God for a solution, do that but don’t talk about it in public. Solve it with someone who has the training to help you overcome it.
- When there is conflict, look for ways to take ownership of the part you played. This creates more humility and transparency for everyone involved. It gives everyone permission to fail and not have to be perfect and then you can focus on solving the problem rather than blaming. Shift blaming usually happens with immature or insecure leadership.
- Don’t stuff your emotions or be passive-aggressive. Usually, this comes from people in your life that modeled this to you. You will build success fast if you will just communicate when you are frustrated at a lower level or ask for clarification to avoid the matter becoming complicated. If you don’t feel heard, describe that also and then set a boundary if necessary. Passive-aggressiveness is a form of control and is the tool of fearful people.
- Focus on building healthy long-term relationships and not having to be right. Fast track to control freak island if you have to be 100% right about everything or you’re going to cut someone off relationally. As best as you can, love people even through the bad decisions they make and keep the door open for communication. Don’t be a bridge burner; it eats wealth.
- When other people succeed, congratulate them and internally note if you feel jealousy. If so, do the work to match the blessing they received. God is no respecter of person’s, and fruit follows stewardship. Plant good fruit, and you too will grow a beautiful vineyard!
- Pray about solving a problem but then begin to take action. You do not wait and wait for the perfect plan to be downloaded to you. You begin to execute on different solutions until you find the one that works for you. Waiting on God is done in prayer, and it’s an action that leads to execution. Don’t be religious and tell everyone you’re “Waiting on the Lord.” Tell them you just prayed about it this morning, and you will be executing by the end of the week.
- Avoid thinking in catastrophic terms and instead, think what’s the best thing that could happen. Faith will always compel you to toward an expected right END. Fear will have you rehearsing everything that could go wrong.
- Don’t wait for the perfect time to execute on your vision. It will never be a perfect time, or will you have best resources. The delay is just a tactic of the enemy to sabotage your faith and focus. Better a good plan executed violently today, than a perfect plan tomorrow. Gen. George Patton!
When you build a new identity and overcome the obstacles that have left other’s feeling victimized, you are going to create enormous tension for those around you. It will cause them to have to go deeper with you and into more success or detach from you because they feel threatened. This can happen from a lack of Lordship or honestly, a lack of work ethic. The bottom line is the fear of man will sabotage every bit of leadership on your life. Fear God, serve people.
Stop sabotaging your success by taking the time to build a solid leadership model. Need help with that? Join my leadership team. I oversee it and do all the training on helping you build a bold life and brand!
Have an awesome and SUCCESS filled day!