Answer To “I Don’t Have Money”

How To Let God Stretch Your Faith

Please Watch If You Want To Take Class But Don’t Have Money! from Becky Harmon on Vimeo.

Dear Friend!

I receive so many heart felt emails about people who share their hearts with me on what they are going through financially and that they want to take our classes but can’t afford it.

In this video I explain how I use to struggle with the same thing. Really haven’t the clarity to know for sure if I should move forward, believing that I would receive the results of what I wanted and lastly just that there was a new identity for me.

I hope this makes sense to you but learning how to step out in faith financially is more about warfare over taking on a more successful identity. I know this because I have seen this happen in my life and my clients who invested into my programs. The enemy never wants you to learn how to stretch yourself and actually SEE your capacity to push past limitations with faith.

Let me encourage your heart today. Let me know if you have any questions after watching.

Love, Bec:)


7 Signs Of Emotional Disconnect

Emotional disconnect

Think about an area of your heart where you are not getting your emotional needs met. It creates intense anxiety for you when you begin to think or talk about it. It could be your work, family, marriage or even in your spiritual life.

When this becomes a daily challenge, you’re nervous system becomes overloaded and you simply cannot process the chronic fear. God has a wonderful way of helping us cope during trauma. He just has our minds and bodies detach from feeling the anxiety.

If you grew up in an addicted, narcissistic, shame-based or fear driven home, there is a possibility that you have learned how to emotionally disconnect without even being aware of it. Many times people growing up in these environments were shut down for expressing their feelings and the truth. They taught themselves inadvertently, DO NOT FEEL.  The challenge is when we become adults this becomes a learned behavior that can affect our closest relationships and destroy authentic intimacy in our lives.

We avoid deeper conversations that might expose how we really feel. In contrast, living in your boldest identity zone means that you present yourself FULLY to the world and to those around you. Not holding back because you fear rejection, loss or abandonment. It requires boldness you acquire from Christ and pair that with trusting your authentic self. This involves experiencing pain and embracing it.

If not, you’re in danger of experiencing an internal identity theft. When this has happened or is happening you feel “disconnected” from the people closest to you even when you’re in close proximity to them. Here are some of the signs of emotional disconnect in a relationship or team:

  1. Disconnect causes people to introvert their emotions daily. In other words, they live in their heads and this is how they related to life. They don’t allow themselves to feel so they process internally. People who are really disconnecting have trouble communicating. So you will ask them how they feel and it takes them 15 minutes and lots of pauses to articulate their emotions. This is because they have stuffed it so far down. They will get angry at you for asking them to share how they feel. You will also see people doing this who use intellectualism as a barrier to intimate relationships. 
  2. People who are disconnected have to project a “have it all together identity”. They are extremely performance based.  This is often times because they have buried their emotions so far down they don’t even know who they are identity wise. Most of the time this comes from being raised by a parent that was not in touch with their own emotions themselves. Often times, if you ask someone penetrating questions who is disconnected they will turn it into a joke or deflect the conversation in a way that they do not have to acknowledge they have caused pain or are experiencing it themselves.
  3. Individuals who feel disconnected do not feel understood, validated or respected by the people closest to them. They are lonely at a core level so they have to pretend like it doesn’t bother them or throw themselves into their work or Facebook. They live vicariously through this and get their affirmation through it. “Follows and likes” mean they are someone special.
  4. Individuals who are detached will sometimes pursue extreme activities. This allows them to feel the emotional connect that they crave. In balance, this can be positive if you used in a team enviroment. It can however lead to underlying competition that separates you from the people you are really trying to connect and build with.
  5. Christians will pursue extreme religious activity. The deepest worship conferences, prophetic highs, intense fasting. The danger with this is it makes you feel deeply spiritual but you don’t have capacity to reach the vision God has planted in your heart. Intense spiritual experiences aren’t our aim, discipleship is. (which involved people, intimacy and vulnerability)
  6. Disconnected people struggle with medicating and numbing the pain they are in. This can be alcohol, food, self-stimulation, video games, internet. Their emotions are trapped and they don’t know how to release them a bit at a time.
  7. They hold back from pursuing their deepest heart desires or experiencing deep fulfilling relationships. They don’t have the courage to pursue anything risky in their heart because they aren’t used to feeling fear and so they don’t trust themselves. This is one of the most tragic outcomes of being disconnected. 

Perhaps you have just become comfortable with the disconnect or there is someone in your life who is emotionally unavailable.  You fear the FEELING of anxiety and when you begin to experience it you pull away. Here is the truth. If you can’t allow yourself to feel fear and push through it, then you will never be truly ALIVE and experience the power of resurrection in your life. God CAN’T rescue you because you aren’t being dependent on him. Worse, what you are doing is teaching others around you to settle and that they cannot TRUST YOU to help them live LIFE fully present, fully powerful and you will never step into your deepest life purpose.

I want to encourage you today to be honest with God, yourself and the people in your inner circle. A person who knows their afraid and has to ask God for grace to move forward is a far more braver soul than someone who projects an identity to others that is not really causing them to have to live in faith. I want the best for you. Go deeper with God. Go deeper with your relationships.

Love, Bec:)


How To Receive Provision From God & People

Barriers To Intimacy

Imagine spending decades investing in a relationship with someone you truly respected only to find you when you go to the mailbox one day that you’re being served with divorce papers. Maybe you spent years being known for being strong and resilient and you now have a debilitating illness and feel very confused and double-minded. Or maybe you did all the right things as a parent and yet your children are rebelling and wandering. Now, there is a heaviness on you that is suffocating and trying to squeeze the life right out of you. It could be rejection, addictions, fear in the form of an illness, a lay-off, you now have a spiritual battle on your hands that could be lengthy and require deep fortitude to overcome.

But here’s an important question to answer if you want to push through this successfully.

Are you inadvertently placing a barrier between you and God’s provision?

The Lord allows spiritual warfare like this to take us through a refinement process where we are seperated from the enemy in a profound way. He is attempting to take us to a secret place of provision and surround us with his love. Often times this translates in your business or ministry into new levels of authority.  But if  during this spiritual warfare you are choosing to escape the pain by isolating yourself from others, over eating, turning to drugs, alcohol or medicating activities like shopping, video games or computer games, you are placing a barrier between you and the presence/provision of God. Now, I know that seemed like a pretty strong statement to make but here’s the thing. I have been through this process over a dozen times and I have come out the other side every time with a powerful new identity.  New identities lead to promotion, favor and open doors you could never have opened yourself. So let me take you by the hand and explain to you how to get through this in a way that will release a supernatural wind  into your life. There is  process that has to be followed if you want the provision to flow.

Many times people people become depressed (anger turned inward), leave churches and break off contact with the very people that can carry them through the pain they are in because during spiritual warfare they feel so….alone.  Or maybe you have been considering anti-depressant drugs like I have a couple times in my life because the weight of battle I was in just got too much for me.  But here’s what I want you to know.  Emotional pain is an opportunity to see God’s miracle working power in a whole new way if you can embrace it rather than numb it.  It causes us to cry out from the very depths of our being and brings a fire to our soul that will bring you into a whole new level of intimacy with God and people. Intimacy with God ALWAYS translates into provision emotionally, spiritually and financially.

Pain gives us an opportunity to be authentic and vulnerable. To receive from a place of weakness rather than results you have achieved through your performance. To see how God covers and protects you through the love, gifts and encouragement of others. I am a result oriented coach but where I make the greatest gains in my own leadership and business is typically through seasons of pain where I am being stripped. Spiritual warfare will either create greater holiness and intimacy or greater self-reliance that disconnects you even further from God and others who can help you. 

One of the things that prevents people from doing identity work during tension is they have had multiple generations of people in their family who are under rejection spirits that have come through bi-polar, addictive, compulsive, narcissistic parents or (name the pain because everyone has it in their family). Now, that spiritual stronghold has become part of their FAMILY IDENTITY not just their personal identity. Now, you’re talking about an intergenerational demonic assignment that isn’t going to let go with one or two prayers.

Recognizing and yielding during warfare takes discernment, identity work and a team around you. Resisting medicating is some of strongest spiritual warfare you will receive. Why? Because it’s socially acceptable if not encouraged. But here’s what I tell my teams. Guaranteed, your mom and dad may have been saved but they may not have been OVERCOMER’S. That’s an entirely different level that involves Lordship, deliverance and within teams that have a focused goal so that you are RELEASED properly. It’s like if your dad was in the military in infantry, it doesn’t mean he knows how to be a SNIPER and SEAL that works on a specialized team. When you go through identity work, you are being prepared to ATTACK the enemy on his ground and take it back. It’s about the closest you are going to get to being a ranger or seal as you’re going to get in your spiritual life. You are moving from being just a Christian to a mature, seasoned warrior who is dangerous to the enemy.

I have seen God vindicate me in multitudes of places where I have been attempted to be shamed by the enemy.  A matter of fact, let me encourage you with this. Where sin abounds. THAT MUCH MORE GRACE ABOUNDS.

Here is something for you to practice this week if you are in spiritual warfare and are ready to make a 100% commitment to receive a higher level of training.

Go to the Lord in prayer. Pray this:

Father, I recognize you are giving me the opportunity through this painful experience to take what the enemy meant for evil and TURN it into a resurrection experience that I can glorify you with. Lord, you are my high priest and live to make intercession for me 24 hours a day. I ask that you give me grace to not medicate the pain I am in. If on the cross Lord, you could resist the hyssop offered to you to numb your excruciating pain, I Lord through your strength can resist medicating my pain. Father, here’s the truth. I have become accustomed to turning to food, alcohol and these other things (name them) to ease my pain. I now have other Lords ruling over me other than you. I am the one who is putting up a barrier between us. Father, forgive me. I am like a sheep that has gone astray. I repent. I ask you to do the work in me you need to do to process through this pain correctly and see you bring me the provision my heart and life needs. I take authority in the name of Jesus over this spirit (name it) that is attacking my family and I ask you Lord to vindicate me. 

I love you. You are called to greatness and I want you to step into it. There is a secret place of intimacy, power with God and deeply fulfilling relationships with people that are waiting for you on the other side of this spiritual warfare! Press through!

Love, Bec:)


Friday The 13th Special Prayer Covering!

The airlines industry loses millions of dollars every year due to people not wanting to fly on Friday the 13th. When you don’t understand your identity in Christ, you come under the enemy’s plans to limit your faith and courage.

Let me pray a special covering over you and everything you own today so God can use you today in the kingdom!

Love, Bec:)

How To Find The Right Team For Your RELEASE!

Becky Harmon

Receiving Christ is the single most powerful life changing event you will ever have happen to you, and just to be clear, the one thing that will bring tangible warfare into your life like nothing else will.

Getting “saved” has literally taken me from having no identity, no purpose and no power to helping me pioneer a significant life that impacts people for the kingdom globally. However, learning how to use my identity in Christ to pioneer my highest purpose, has been a process that I had to put into place step-by-step. And it was a tremendous amount of work because I had no one to follow model wise.

I had to discipline myself out of desperation, get up a 5am in the morning with 4 babies despite how I tired I was and read the word of God and books that would help me understand how to get free from the mindsets that I had learned from the world. I learned how to take myself through deliverance essentially which now looking back on was a true gift. However, I also coupled that with teams.

In my youth, I began with 15 years of girl-scouting which taught me how to push past my own discomfort and work with other women to accomplish a goal. I traveled all over the US hiking and canoeing as our troop was sponsored by Eastern Airlines. This really set a template in my life for deep friendships in groups despite my own sabotaging behavior to hide who I was from others.

A crucial lesson I have learned through my 35 now years of being part of successful teams is at the end of the day, finding the right spiritual DNA in a group is crucial to growing a bolder identity and then business. This is why the scripture says in Psalm 68 that God puts the isolated in family.

Being set in place in teams is the beginning of walking in true apostolic power which is yoke breaking and rooting leaders to make disciples.You may impact for a bit one on one, you may even have great results but you will never step into exponential multiplication and a weighty authority without a team behind you. If you think this is just a nice thought, than you are deceived.

You can ask even non Christian leaders about this and they will give their ability to team as a success principle. So, what kind of things should you look for from a leader of a team you are contemplating joining? Because trust me, I have been on successful teams and a couple that I look back on and just wish someone would have given me this information ahead.

The first and most critical thing to look for is what the mission of the team is and what results are they relaying they are going to help you achieve.

Now, people who are charismatic and great speakers can inspire you but when you join a team, you’re there for one reason. To accomplish a specific goal.

The purpose of a team is to start and finish something that has a bigger purpose than you can achieve alone whether it is in ministry or business. The biggest challenges come when people have not had good experiences with groups and leaders. This begins in your home of origin.

So in other words, if you haven’t learned to work together and submit to leaders that care about you in your own home so that they can help you achieve a significant identity….than guess what? Every team whether in business or ministry that you walk into is going to be your new test. It’s actually not supposed to be this way but because of the high statistics on divorce coupled with our disposable mindsets relationally, people have learned to take their ball home during identity defining tension that will RELEASE them into their actual vocational calling on top of their identity in Christ.

WHERE Most Christians Miss The Boat

Big sabotage: Joining churches and team where the leader has not learned how to be overcomer in area’s they FEAR. I have this conversation sadly once or twice a month. Your identity in Christ is to conform you to the image of Christ and equip you to walk in freedom and power that is DIFFERENT than the world. It is the STARTING point for SENDING.

So in other words, if you don’t learn how to overcome your weight, rejection, crappy attitudes with leaders, judgmental attitudes, perfectionism, hopelessness, depression, medicating during crisis points, etc and become an overcomer through your identity in Christ, you can FORGET doing the work to discover your calling, higher purpose and a profitable vocation that is going to fuel you in a significant way in the kingdom. This is why so many Christians have failed marriages, ministries and businesses partnerships. You can always start but a victimization mindset will keep you from FINISHING and EATING THE FRUIT OF YOUR LABOR.

So many people are preaching or teaching out of their intellect not their resurrection story with some kind of title like Pastor, Prophet, Apostle, Coach, Business leader, blah-blah but they haven’t had any significant sabotages they can share publicly that they have overcome, no team around them that has been in place LONGTERM (over ten, 15 years) that they are accountable to and they are asking for donations or investments to a vision that has no clear results with a time line attached. This is why we are to be FRUIT inspectors. This isn’t judgment, this is WISDOM.

My identity is not in my looks, my personality, my marriage, my finances, my parenting or my business success. I know how to be in lack and I know how to enjoy prosperity/fame without it owning me. It’s in Christ alone and overcoming every new challenge through his blood so that I can magnify the name of Christ through my weakness.

That is why I get results for people. I attack all new spiritual battles whether in business or my personal life with my identity in Christ and the areas that I have already learned to be an overcomer in. I simply remember who I AM in all adversity. I don’t have to strain, I don’t have to make any business opportunities happen, I can rest knowing all new tension is where he is sending me.

So what are the sabotages I see of people who can’t build new identities?

They bail during tension- When you begin to hope, expect, pray and do the work to grow a bigger identity, you’re going to get spiritual warfare that feels like all HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE. Satan doesn’t let go of territory easily in your life. He is great at teaming in the negative and has heirarchys of demonic spirits that work together (yes, demonic oppression is real and you can be a Christian and be oppressed) to cause you to quit before you can become rooted and grounded in spiritual family that will change you.

Here’s a few tips if you’re new to identity work:

  1. If you don’t have someone to pray with weekly and share your temptations and weaknesses you are not under Lordship. Find a prayer partner this week.
  2. Join a team~Never pass up opportunities to partner with people who are overcomers if they invite you to start and finish a big goal. You become who you hang around consistently.
  3. Actions I take daily to ensure I stay clear, bold and growing exponentially.
    I block one hour of prayer a day at 5am
    I block one hour of cardio a day.
    I try and stay away from sugar, white flour and meat.
    I block one to two hours a week for accountability and prayer with mature women of faith.
    I say no to anything outside my vision I created at the beginning of the year without guilt.
    I say yes to any invitations that will make me have to press through fear physically or emotionally.

Now, start with two on this list for a month and when you have that in place, add one more. Your life will be radically different in one year if you do this. You are an overcomer through the blood of Christ, now agree with WHO you are and get to work creating a powerful and impactful life.

Love, Bec:)

Becky Harmon

Women: 3 Tips To Help Your Husband Love Your Leadership

Last week I did a blog to men on how to help your wife respect your leadership in your marriage. This week, I want to write specifically to the women about how to help your husband love your leadership.   Again, I have been married 30 years next year, have 4 adult children, coached hundreds/thousands of women through identity work (including their marriages) and have seen there are some basic principles that if instituted just make your personal leadership strong and your teaming tight. If your married, you’re operating as a team.

Ephesians 5: 22-24 The Message

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husband, as unto the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. And vs. 33 let the wife see that she reverence her husband.

3 Mindsets That Help Your Husband Love Your Leadership

1. Take ownership of the results of your own “queendom” especially your physical body, emotions and schedule. Now, I know this could be taken offensively but honestly, this is just something I am mentioning because I deal with it so consistently with my clients.  It’s amazing the trouble we go through to stay in shape when we are single and then we don’t have time after we are married to work out. Marriage isn’t a license to gain 50 pounds and then blame it on weight gain during pregnancy. If your husband married a size 8 and you’re now a size 16 because your “stressed” then evaluate your time commitments, church activities and join the gym where you can work that out in a positive way. When you feel fat, disconnected and you’re hiding, it affects your intimacy level with God, your husband and your friendships.  (Just saying, it’s the small foxes that spoil the vine not the big things). While we are on that subject of sex, don’t wait for him to ask you. Block it in if you have a herd of kids, but tell him on Monday that he better be ready on Friday night for some action. Guard your sex life. It’s the well spring of a long-term marriage.

 2. I would definitely respect him if he was leading the way he was supposed to.  Ever heard a woman say that? If my husband was head of the house the way he was supposed to be instead of eating chips on the couch and watching video games then I would respect him. You will be much easier to love if you cut off any resentment which causes underlying currents in your relationship. When change needs to happen, it will be because of tension, boundaries and everyone taking ownership.   If your husband won’t go to counseling, you sign up. If he isn’t going to read marriage books, you read the book and ask him questions on your date night about what you read. If he isn’t going to change and he’s not cheating on you or doing covenant breaking activities (in that case you have to militantly enforce tight boundaries), then get down on your knees and start praying with faith and honoring him where you can. Find area’s of his life to affirm him in. Everyone has one or two. I guarantee you that you can’t out give God. Pray for his leadership for a season before you communicate to him what needs to change and watch the reward you’re going to get from God. You will get “suddenly” promoted at work, your kids will excel emotionally or in character, you have divine favor when you run the stop sign and get stopped by the po-po. Trust me, respect is synergetic. It multiplies when seeded well and God see’s and rewards hidden things.

3. Shift-blaming that he is holding you back from doing what you want.  Maybe someone else is doing what you want to do or your husband doesn’t encourage you to step out in faith. Maybe when you talk about the vacation, or going to church or all the other dozens of things you want to do, he get’s irritated, withdrawn or pulls the martyr card (Oh, it would be nice if I COULD have some fun but I always have to work).  Oh well. Don’t let someone else’s passivity and victimization thinking dictate your schedule and how you invest in your life. He will love the results of you feeling emotionally filled up because you’re investing in what brings you joy. A happy woman is an easier to love woman rather than a uptight cranky one because she never has any fun.  You can’t control your husband and he can’t control you. YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF. When you miss out on fun, guess whose fault it is? When you miss out hanging with the fun girlfriends, guess whose fault it was? When you miss out on the big sale because you had too much house work, guess whose fault it was? Always decide it’s your fault when you didn’t get to do something you wanted to do. If he complains the house is dirty, set a schedule and give him his list along with the kids chores and your’s. No one get’s to complain who doesn’t throw a hand in to help. Occasionally something will happen that you can’t control and it will cause you to get frustrated but waiting around on other people to give you a plan is a recipe for disaster,  co-dependency and bitterness.

I would end with this. It’s amazing how much better a marriage goes when everyone is pursuing their purpose and doing the work to get there. Never let the enemy tell you that if you become who God really intended you to be influence wise that your husband will not like the real you or abandon you. You were born to shine brightly. What will actually happen is your pursuit for God will bring a good tension that will cause everyone around you to have to address. A great communicator on this subject is Mark Gungor if you need more support. Remember, the Lord is in the transformation business. If there is no change, most likely there is no one pressing into the kingdom in a way that brings tension. Be you. Be BOLD.

Love, Bec:)

Becky Harmon

Update On Bold Identity And Our Team

As many of you know the team we created the BOLD IDENTITY team years ago and it has brought an increase on average of 80% clarity of vision and ability to become an overcomer to those who have joined!

As well, this past year with the political environment as charged as it is, we are watching women surge to the forefront of SIGNIFICANT leadership positions as well as OUTSIDERS completely over-riding the status quo in the HIGHEST offices of leadership and influence. To ride the wave of what is happening in the spirit realm, I have made some changes to the way I deliver for my clients. My business has surged and I am having favor released to me that is causing it to be completely rearranged and expanded.

One reason is this: I have been able by God’s grace to help people identify where their leadership is diluted but then equip them to step into more authority and  create their own message to coach others with.

Previously my leadership team material was unaccessible without joining my team. Because my business is expanding and I am having more opportunities, I have created a products page so that the content can be purchased and with it, I have provided a ONE WEEK free entrance into our team so that you can see what creating a WHOLE NEW HIGH PERFORMANCE MENTORING TEAM around you, can do for helping you build more clairity and co nsistency.

My prediction today is: While all your friends are taking the summer off to relax, you’re going to be solidifying your leadership so next year you’re influencing at an even higher elevation.

Go here to purchase BOLD Identity for yourself on PDF and receive one full week into our team for FREE if you’re ready to go BOLD with more accountability and mentoring.

Love, Bec:)

Becky Harmon

Men: 3 Keys To Gain More Respect In Your Marriage

Submission Vs. Stupidity

Today’s coaching comes from a post that blew up my page on Facebook and got over 100 likes, 25 shares and obviously hit a nerve that we need to talk more about in the church.

It’s the word: SUBMISSION. Now, for the record, Jay and I have been married for almost 30 years, have raised 4 mustangs (everyone else has regular children). I birthed 4 pioneers, who had difficult transitions through teenage years and each pioneered their callings through ALOT of tension. We have 3 boys and 1 girl and even my daughter who was a straight A, now a worship pastor, had an rollercoaster young adult experience. There were times when Jay and I wondered why we were getting the amount of spiritual warfare we were and then, honestly didn’t see eye to eye on how to handle all the parenting issues that came up. ( Just being real). And when I don’t agree, I pray and then I communicate it clearly as I believe in SUBMISSION BUT NOT STUPIDITY. Now, hope that didn’t make you blow a gasket but here’s the point of today’s post.

Obviously we need to tweak the way we teach on submission in the body of Christ if our divorce rate is equal to the world. I believe in delegated authority. However, what I want to talk with you is a LEADERSHIP issue, because here’s the truth, the biggest mistakes I have seen in marriage’s that ended in divorce or blown up teams are leaders who didn’t take FULL ownership of the results.

Women are commanded biblically to respect just as men are commanded to love but there are practical things you can do to make your wife feel more secure in your leadership and create respect in times of tension. Look at it like this. You’re running a mini- corporation or a SEAL military team. The family needs to be operating a peak performance to navigate the warfare you’re going to get from our culture. Your wife is your sniper who can take out the enemy if you listen to deeply to her. Remember: She’s your HELPER, (means you listen to the helper). So, let’s read this together:

Ephesians 5:25-33 The Message

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church~ a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. EVERYTHING he DOES AND SAYS is designed to bring the BEST out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that his how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor`since they’re already “one” in marriage. No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and PAMPERS it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of the body.

3 Keys To Make Your Wife Respect YOUR Leadership

  1. When you go to make a decision that you think your wife will have a different opinion on, do this: Pray~ Father, I am trying to make the best decision I can but I want you to know I am open to doing it differently. Ask him to confirm to you through your wife if this is a good direction. Then go to your wife, and tell her I HAVE BEEN PRAYING ABOUT THIS and I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS. This is going to produce multiple things for you as a leader. First, your wife is going to feel more secure that you’re praying about decisions that impact her and the kids. Second, she’s going to feel valued that you asked her opinion before you plowed ahead.
  2. If she disagrees with decision, tell her: Thank you, I hadn’t seen that side of it, I am going to go back to God now (or talk to another leader about this before executing) and see if this is the right decision. The biggest mistakes are made when you are isolated, you have no male friends to run any decision’s by and you’re trying to lead into new territory with no “intel” (you’re not reading books on the topic/talking to your sources who might know the territory better or otherwise you’re just hoping you’re going to be successful with literally no training, preparation or advanced weaponery (prayer). If men looked at their marriages and families with a military perspective, they would be much more willing to get additional support in difficult seasons in their family. YOUR IN A WAR. THE ENEMY WANTS TO KILL YOU. YOUR MARRIAGE. YOUR CHILDREN. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE as Patton would say.
  3. Take ownership of the results in your marriage and your family.  This isn’t just a marriage tip though it will make your wife BRAG on your leadership, it’s a business teaming tip. Leadership means YOU OWN THE RESULTS no matter what happened or what goes wrong.  That’s why most people don’t build successful long-term visions. It’s not your wife’s fault, its not your kids fault. It’s not the ministry or business team that was not cooperating or rebellious. It’s your ability to pray and lead effectively. Everything rises and falls on your leadership.  Leadership is being willing to be evaluated, taking ownership when things go wrong without shift blaming and changing your style if what you’re doing isn’t working. You don’t need a year to examine your results. Sometimes Jay and I could see results from a decision in 2 days, sometimes 2 months. Jay has always been willing to change what isn’t working which has made me trust him more even during times when things seemed like they were going south.

Bottom line. We don’t want to be ordinary Christian leaders. We want to finish strong and win the war our culture is in. To win, you’re going to have to be willing to be different which is why I create teams and communities instead of just selling my coaching. If you need a team to help you create higher mindsets and accountability, join the Bold Identity team. Mean while, a great book I recommend on ownership that Jay bought for us to read is Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy Seals Lead And Win. Next blog, I will be talking to the women on their part in the leadership equation! Let me know what you think!

Love, Bec:)

Photo on 3-14-16 at 12.16 PM

The Anointing: How To Get It

The anointing

The anointing is “Christian speak” for an increased zone of faith and focused power that is obviously above normal.  It’s an authority (natural and supernatural) someone carries that is so strong that even without education, titles or other outward signs of common success, people recognize there is something very different and significant about their work.

What I love about the anointing is it makes people who don’t even believe in the Lord or what you have to say from a faith perspective, think to themselves…”Hmmm. I don’t know what I think about this, this is not normal, God could be in this.”

Here’s a great example of the anointing flowing in Peter and John’s life.

Acts 4:13

Now as they observed the confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed, and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus.

Here’s something super encouraging! Every one of us has an anointing that has been given to us to establish our identity and secure us in Christ. 

1 John 2:27

But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

However, if you want to move from a place of security to providing people with tangible transformation, you are going to have to pay a higher price in discipline and consecration. Because there is no glorification of Christ without suffering or advancement of the gospel. This has nothing to do with your salvation but rather equipping you at a higher level for the work of the ministry within your vocation.

Let me repeat that. The work to create the separation and confirmation from God is going to come through you being willing to accept the discipline of the Holy Spirit into your life so that you are separated as someone who walks closely with God.  When this begins to happen, you receive favor that is beyond normal and you rest in a position that has been hand carved for you.

To be anointed means you have been graced to serve in a very specific way and with tangible power. You have been willing to stay disciplined and obey God in the tests he has given you. Here’s what I want you to know about the anointing:

  1. You cannot carry an anointing of God on your life if you are not a man/woman who knows the word of God, worships God weekly and lives a life of prayer. You can be excellent at what you do but you cannot carry an anointing of God that breaks demonic strongholds. That’s what the anointing is for, it’s a force that confronts darkness.
  2. Testing to carry the anointing is different than what the Bible describes as trials. Trials refine our faith and come to all Christians. The anointing is an invitation given by God in a particular season of your life that is to affirm, release you into greater promotion and give you a boldness in order to send you as a messenger.  For example, Jesus was called into the wilderness to be tried, the apostles were told to pray and wait for the baptism of the Holy Spirit so they could carry the anointing on them as they were being sent to pioneer the church.
  3. If you want to prepare yourself to carry the anointing, you must be willing to begin to seek God for it, become a disciplined person with your time and your body and start surrounding yourself with a team because you’re getting ready to be sent. God always sends people out in teams.

Any questions? Be more than happy to answer them, just post them below.

Becky Harmon



How To Identify Your Ideal Client

Courage Leads To Clarity

How to identify your ideal client

There are so many Christians who tell me they want to get paid to speak, write, coach or be an expert in their field—but without identifying your ideal client or audience, you won’t be able to be profitable doing what you love and what God has called you to do.

Stepping into your boldest identity zones and calling for your business is quite a journey, and it starts with a lot of ground work. Proverbs 18:16 says, “A man’s (woman’s) gift…brings him/her before great men” (NKJV). The biggest thing I want you to know today as you begin this process is you won’t have perfect clarity so you have to move forward FIRST with courage. You will gain the clarity through the work like this I am giving you but courage is what you need first to launch. Most Christians just get stuck on this first step because they keep waiting on God to drop down some kind of open door for speaking, writing or coaching.

Your business won’t grow because you have a good heart, love God and pray hard. It will grow because you discover what specific results you can produce for people and they will pay you for that. So, the faith and courage is what launches you out into your calling. The business work is what makes you grow.

As you do this consistently and faithfully, you are now positioned to walk in your higher purpose and greater calling. On a side note this is often where you get greater spiritual warfare because you are impacting lives for Christ through your leadership and business.

These are all steps that are completely normal and necessary if you are going to want to get paid as a Christian speaker, coach, writer, public figure.

Narrow Down Your Boldest Identity Zones

What subjects could I teach on with passion and enthusiasm? When you begin to talk about this subject do people sit up and pay attention? Write down 5 to 10 topics that you could talk about passionately. Circle your top 3 in red as possible bold identity zones. You want to narrow yourself down to three and stay focused on these. Are these 3 zones ones that you could spend 15 to 45 minutes a day acquiring more knowledge in, investing money into growing, and developing content around? If you can answer yes to this and you’re willing to do the work to move into being an expert in that realm, move forward into the next step.

Identify Who You Get Great Results With

Who specifically do I get the BEST results with? Male or female? Professional? Entrepreneurs? High performance people? What is there approx age? Where do they live?  Are they single? Married? What do they do for fun? What causes do they give to? What kind of clubs do they belong to? Where do they vacation? Do they go to church? How do they spend money?

Identify Your Strengths

Ask yourself the following question: What do I love to talk about or do that will set me apart from my competition? Your goal for this step is to find out your “bold zone” that people will talk about and that you will even get referrals for. Bold prayer is this zone for me. It set me apart naturally as it was something that was a very strong part of my identity. I want to encourage you to not worry about mixing “God” and your business. BE YOU and BE YOU BOLDLY IN YOUR BRANDING.

Who will pay with gratefulness for what you do?

How can you create packages, programs and products to serve at multiple levels? What will your price range be and what exactly can you provide in an over the top way to ensure you are going to be talked about and referred in a great way?

Do The Work To Build Credibility 

When you are an unknown figure and have no established platform such as television, radio or a book you have published, you have to create it yourself. The easiest way to do this is through a website, weekly and monthly service offerings, building a list and creating products so that you develop name brand recognition. What happens eventually is by being faithful to steward all of this, your circle of influence is enlarged and you are possibly given an open door with the media or larger audiences.

The bottom line is your core values, your leadership and what you want to accomplish mission-wise for your audience is what your brand rotates around. WHO YOU are and what you want to produce in their lives. Your business brand is just an extension of who you are in your personal life. The tighter identity work you do in your personal leadership, the better your branding clarity will be.  Enjoy your branding work! Comments and questions welcomed!

Love, Bec:)

Becky Harmon