Everyone wants to enjoy the benefits of great relationships and receive support for their vision. Some people don’t understand that they ATTRACT the identity they project to others. So, if you thrive on talking about other people in order to make yourself feel more powerful. Guess what? You are inadvertently sabotaging your own credibility.
If you BECOME the kind of individual no matter how much adversity you receive, you continue to encourage others and find the positive in all tension, you will grow your influence. Everyone can find out what is wrong with a situation or person. It takes leadership to provide the correctional tweak that brings life!
If you want a peaceful, powerful and purposed life you have to place your boundaries in pleasant places. This is not up to GOD. It’s up to you. Learn how to mine people’s hearts and seek out people who are faithful and have big visions for the kingdom of God.
Practice these six strategies and you will see your whole circle of influence begin to change. You will also naturally repel those who are negative, whiny and and angry!
- People naturally want to be around positive people. Smile constantly rehearsing the goodness of the vision God has given you. Smile when you’re alone, when your in the car, smile at everyone you meet. As you smile, begin to thank God quietly and meditate on the vision he has given you in your heart. Do this without effort but rehearse it in your mind with gratefulness. Expect this come to pass. Resist sharing your vision, heart or struggles with those who make you more anxious when you leave their presence. Become aware in your life of those who bring life and those who deplete your faith.
- Every opportunity you have, practice listening deeply to people and giving feedback that is encouraging, kind and will create more faith in them. Make it your objective to make people feel important and valuable. Find a way to affirm them for how they serve, the action’s they take and any kindness you see them display. Affirm character rather than status or affluence. Negative people thrive on warning you, cautioning you, advising and otherwise creating fear as it gives them a sense of control. Faith filled conversation aggravates them.
- Ask penetrating questions that explores purpose, vision and connections when you meet new people. As soon as socially acceptable, after a small amount of chit-chat, ask questions that will explore their heart. This is where some of the deepest alignment takes place for vision. Some questions you can ask: What kind of work brings you the deepest significance? If you didn’t have to make a paycheck, where would you volunteer your time? What gives you great joy and would make you feel fulfilled if you could accomplish it in your life time? Who do you like to be around that helps you move into your vision? Keep the conversation moving forward into a larger hope, destiny and faith! Toxic people will actually walk away from conversations like this because it inadvertently exposes their ego driven life.
- Don’t be afraid to share where you feel weak but do it in a healthy way. What I suggest here is weakness is a wonderful way to connect with people but do it in a way that encourages. From a perspective of this is what I struggle with and how I solve it with God’s help. If you are not able to share things without rehearsing feelings of victimization, it’s best to not talk about it until you feel stronger or more victory as it will just reinforce your overwhelm and put you possibly in place where you attract people who thrive on fixing others.
- When you meet someone remember their name and something valuable about them that you picked up on. I generally can remember anything I respect in people. Share this with others so that they receive affirmation for their identity. It’s such a lovely way of sharing joy authentically. Toxic people become skeptical if you point out value. Ask them to share with you something good about the person or group if they are talking negatively. They often will not want to keep the conversation going with you if they have to do this. Works like a charm!
- If you enjoy someone’s identity, invite them to do something fun or focused with you. This way you can see if there is an energy or synergy being produced that God can bless. This is when you can give to their vision and they can give to yours. Negative people do not want to have fun. They want excuses as to why they can’t go out, join a group or otherwise experience any happiness. Don’t sit home with a complainer. The best way to nip that in the bud is to enjoy life fully and let them be alone. This sometimes will motivate them to change!
When you’re ready to think big and create goals that require an awesome team you’re going to want to have people around you that are child-like, creative and can laugh at themselves. This means letting go of anyone in your life who is negative and pursuing the individuals that are positive!
What you will find with building deeper relationships that are deeply fulfilling is they are tied most of the time to you living a significant life that serves others! When you press into this, you’re going to find your people group that naturally follows you into a bigger vision and into investing with you in accomplishing it!