Looking for friends? Which person displays greater love?
1. The person who has been around for years, never forgets your birthday, affirms what you believe, listens quietly when you are upset or angry, yet since you have known them has never really had any resurrection experiences in their life or required you to take the risky actions that would produce this in yours?
2. The person in your life who in a very short amount of time has listened carefully to what you have said you want to produce in your life, challenged you to grow by questioning your methods or disconnects, and offers to match your efforts by investing in your success?
Of course listening compassionately is appreciated but if you want to not sabotage yourself while your looking for friends, gravitate towards #2 as much as possible.
The word of God is clear about what attracts these types of people into your life as a leader. You can break a curse of disposable relationships on your life and shallow friendships by…
1. Looking for friends who will question the disconnect between what you say and what you actually do.
Most people associate loyalty with being “yes” people. They do not like anyone questioning why they do things the way they do or how they are going to achieve results with the plan they created. This is rejection based leadership and does not produce long term results. Healthy leaders welcome questions and do not take them personally.
In your personal life or on your team, an individual who causes you to analyze objectively your mode of operation is a gift and is typically not attempting to minimize your authority. They are actually doing you a favor by causing you to process potential pitfalls. You may see him/her as difficult…but the truth is, loyal people have a desire for you to be respected and they know that if you invest time into projects that don’t have quick and clear pay-outs, your going to lose credibility as a leader.
2. Looking for friends that are passive aggressive and won’t tell you the truth about how you are coming across to others.
Many people will never communicate to you what people are really thinking about how you come across behind the scenes. A long time friend of mine Kathy’s friendship began with her asking me do you really mean to come across like this? I know you said in prayer this is what you wanted but when I hear you talk about this situation, it’s sounds so opposite. I just got to the point where I began to ask the Lord to reveal to me what she was saying because I just couldn’t see it. And of course, over time I caught the revelation. I trusted her quickly BECAUSE she confronted me frequently. On another day, Beverly Lewis (Who I partner with on workshops/biz teams) will ask me, “I know you want Success Not Sabotage to attract this kind of business, but you are focusing here…WHY are you doing that? Sigh… back to the drawing board…AGAIN!
Loyal friends and team members have an ability to completely make you go “HUH”, and then say to you what everyone else won’t.
“Hey, that is not working and it makes no sense. Stop doing it, it’s slowing down the momentum and what you say you really want”.
They know for you to succeed, you need help processing and to hear how you are perceived.
In Antioch, Peter was acting inconsistently with what he believed and taught (Galatians 2:11-14) and his loyal friends called him up to the plate for the greater good of the message they were carrying. Loyal people are plate callers.
3. Loyal People Launch Out On Their Own
Here’s the thing about loyal people…they make great leaders. Don’t have a poverty mentality by not releasing them when it’s in their best interest to go and grow somewhere else. EXPECT that God will bless you for sending them out with fanfare and will reward your attitude with sending you MORE loyal people.
Too many times people take it personal when people leave their organization or launch their own stuff out of what they gained confidence wise from you. Here’s the bottom line, you can’t lose when you help people succeed.
Our heart should be to raise up and RELEASE people into THEIR unique identity. That is the only true way God’s resurrection power will flow and reproduce. Be willing to let people go when it’s time.
Ready to build a big bold LOYAL relationships?